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Vote

Thinking about the election today, morning news of voter machine fraud. What are these folks thinking, are they totally desperate, willing to live contained within the constant lie?

But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got--the ballot box.
- Mark Twain, interview in Boston Transcript, November 6, 1905

Next

It isn't so constrained as logic might at first indicate,
or so free as the mind might wish.

Weaving

Ready to move

States of awareness don't seem to be confined to any particular space or time. Instead of seeking the spaces they can cross, one might wonder if there are any spaces they can't.

Embers

Touching on the light core,
of red, fire like, heat in,
the center of the belly,
activating the core,
walking up the hill,
remembering.

No title

Inside

There are places
all around
you can enter
for a moment
as a new world.

Rising

Remembering lightness,
some forgotten world,
shedding what came before,
except for the occasional,
embeddings,
which seem to create the sticky surfaces,
upon which memory resides.

That's like writing on water; you really can't say anything about it because it is not visible. It has no shape. You can't tell that you've done anything. These benefits come from working non-intentionally. I can work without knowing what I'm doing, and the strange thing is that it's to my liking; and even stranger that it's to other people's liking too. That's very funny. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with what I know.
-- John Cage

Air

Invited by the wind,
clearing the sky,
walking,
again,
repeating,
again,
the breath,
opening and merging,
with the space,
the body,
the container,
the line is thin.

Water

Nice, misty day.
Wetness to the fore,
the fluidity of arthritic legs,
still there,
full ranging influence
on the inner and outer
worlds in constant mix
so fluid,
so changing,
distractions,
moving, too,
all
one
taste, touch, feeling,
next
step

Library

Aligning ankles,
aligning hips,
aligning shoulders,
aligning neck,
breath out,
leaning back,
breath in,
leaning back,
continuity,
movement,
frame by frame.

everything

Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.

--Rainer Maria Rilke

Walk

Stepping
across
the
walk
sign
lights
up
stays
on
turns
red

Together

Moving
toward
de-sync
sync,
touching
movement
toward

as it is

10 days later
or so
settling into
walk
leaving it
so

Running off

Filtering, breathing, projecting,
take it back in,
to the belly.

Walking, breathing, projecting,
take it back in,
to the belly.

Back in,
where it started.

Oh...

Singing

Sometimes things reveal themselves, but generally they are just happy to be where they are.

Continuous

"Every answer asks a more beautiful question"
E.E. Cummings

Layers

Stepping into focus
various, tendencies
of mind, of considering some
layers
relevant to the cause
while others simply
manifest
across boundaries
by themselves, fully
energized, in light.

Direction

Growth as a one way street,
is kind of narrow
considering,
death is part of the
requirement
for growth.
Might as well,
roll that into the mix.

[screen] [out]

Breath in, moving across
Landscape in, up and down
People in, touching energies
Legs out, stepping forth
Breath out, moving down
People out, energies departing

sinking in

Stepping up the long grade, left leg fighting back. Moving forward, moving through. Makes me think of one of my favorite films, "Naked".

Johnny: Look, if you take the whole of time and represent it by one year, were only in the first few moments of the first of January. There's a long way to go. Only now were not going to spout extra limbs and wings and fins because evolution itself is evolving. When it comes, the apocalypse itself will be part of the process of that leap of evolution.

Brian: Yeah, well. Whatever happens mankind will not cease to exist
Johnny: We must! By the very definition of apocalypse, mankind must cease to exist, at least in a material form.

Brian: What do you mean, in a material form?

Johnny: We will evolve.

Brian: What into?

Johnny: We'll evolve into something that transcends matter, into a species of pure thought. Are you with me?

Brian: Yeah... like a ghost

Johnny: Not like a fucking ghost you big girl's blouse! Into something thats well beyond our comprehension. Into a universal consciousness. Into God. Who is by the same principle that time is.

Brian: You don't believe in God

Johnny: Of course I believe in God

3

Talking, coordinating, missing the step
Musing, confusing, missing the step
Momentum, flow, missing the moment
back, again,
returning to
that flow

2

simple walk
hill side
moving
fore ward
off
on
birds and wire

Shifting Gears

Backpack and biking don't mix after the wreck, especially with the computer in the pack.

Feet are basic moving on the ground, free of extra stuff.

Starting up again, always, getting used to the knee triggers the landscape, the air, the morning time, the thoughts, the space.

Then on to the bus for the last leg, moving downtown into the morning rush, into the offices of startpad.

Stickity wickity

Unstick the ride
unstick the guy
unstick the day
unstick the time
stickity wickity

Unstick the bike
unstick the mike
unstick the breath
unstick unstick
stickity wickity

Unstick the stroke
unstick the note
unstick the stretch
unstick the net
stickity wickity

Unstick the dare
unstick the hope
unstick the rules
unstick the dope
stickity wickity

Unstickity wickity
sitckity wickity
unstickity stickity
wickity

Opening up

A little further today, still, quiet morning. Pressing the body a little bit more, trying to find some strength in the legs.

Moving back toward the elements, toward the energies. What is the energy of the places where tightness reigns? Staying with the left leg, with the tightness.

Extending the range a little bit, smoother pace, easier rhythm. Simple movements, just riding.

Nice ride yesterday. Settling into a rhythm, amazing how fast the body starts to recover once beginning a little extra movement. Left leg is still bad, why is this injury hanging around?

Moving a bit with sounds today, live mix with a small group. Maybe it is time to start eating sound for a while.

Exorcising

Moving, moving, energy flows, releasing the jams, like logs moving down the river, running into the rapids, faster and faster, into the calm of still motion.

How much is everywhere

Breath and momentum

Moving with the breath, 3(out) x 2(in)

The lane

Breath, thinking, breath

Counting

Breath, thinking, breath

Moving

Slow, down...

Breath, thinking I

I thinking breath

Yes

Day 2, back up

Tenative moving, but still moving, breath breathing once again, energy moving. Taking the other direction from the wreck; fewer riders, less complex intersections.

Picking up a little speed, easy distance, slowly back to the elements.

What are the elements in a stretch of the muscles? What is the stretch of a movement?

Back up 2

Yea, it takes a long time to get back on that horse sometimes.

Taking a new route, north on the Gilman trail, hopefully away from the congestion.

Easy ride this morning, no focus, just getting back out there.

What ego is.

Back up

Long time down, crashes, attacks, cuts and dislocations. Re-emerging back to the court, re-emerging into the lanes of energy. Intermittent flashes of colors, liquid, slowly letting the elements just take over.

Moving into spaces, unknown, still carrying the memories, always the memories, walking with the body, old skin, old skin.

Feeling the weight of the ball, the timing of the ball, the looseness, the strokes emerging, the breath emerging. After time, all the time,

Trying, not trying, remembering, not remembering, easing into, easing into.

The courts are really nice right now, barely there, rough, wet and dirty. The wall is gray and cracking. The northern summer light like fall or winter today.

The wall sounds a bit heavy when hit too hard, moving into spins, lifting, holding, controlling, then letting go, moments of control, moments of release.

Body is dis-organized, shaken, move it forward in time. Memory is like an elemental ghost, integration and circularity.

Energy and manifestation

Manifestation as "nothing to be done."
Energy as pre-existing.
Energy as ground of exploration.
Energy as manifestation.

Integrating

Moving into the space comes out of the repetition, moving into the space with awareness is letting go of the movement.

The rides are a bit more of a blur, processing thoughts and moving energy.

Hit some balls yesterday. Starting to link up the awareness of the elements as in the bike riding to the on court play. I've been riding on a "flat tire" as my tennis buddy says, for so long I'd forgotten what it was like to lift up a little bit. Protection sometimes causes more injuries.

Waking up a little on the court, finding balance, finding ease, moving a bit into the elemental world. There is a lot there, barely touching the surface.

Returning, returning

Back again to the elements, distractions signalling that one still hasn't really understood.

Sky, earth, movement, beckoning, opening, opening.

The colors are emerging, that intimate highness of summer approaching. Relaxing into the flow.

Multiplicity without naming, one taste, one thing flowing into the next. Tracking changes, tracking movement, staying with the thread.

Bridge

Fire

Gathering energy from the daily rides, increasing speed, endurance and strength.

What happens?

Thin lines between aggression, arrogance, ignorance and the energy of fire. What are those lines? What are the cautions?

Stepping up the pace, rising up, breath deepening, clearing out the body, awareness can narrow into the body or open up. Opening up, global.

Can the fire burn out the agression, burn out the small I, burn out the blocks, burn out the fire?

Slowly probing into this world.

Movement

Blurry days, so layered with thoughts and emotions. Being, oh being; no-identity, just rest and continuous emergence, movement and stillness.


It's not your time or way of confusion
Oooh isn't it nice
When you find your heart is made out of ice
Ride, Sally ride, ride, ride, ride
Ride, Sally, ride
-Lou Reed

Air and Water

Starting with the breath, letting it initiate the flow of the deeper rhythms. Continuity, movement, just staying with the breath and flow.

Borderlines between refuge, ego and releasing, tettering, tottering, on the lines, as the motivation changes from moment to moment, the location moves along. Can't force it either way, watching the old layers begin to soften and release.

Ongoing approach, never arriving, always arrived, distance and stillness, returning, returning.

Space

Easy day, entering space, releasing, releasing, back into the flow, arising, arising, back into the flow. Motion carries itself along, motion carries itself along.

Starting up

Starting up again after 6 weeks of insane multiple project focus. Back to the breath, back to the watcher.

Air (cont')

Soft rain, nice light. Riding the momentum of the previous weeks rides. Getting the breath in deep, finding that rhythm where the body calls for the next breath in its own rhythm.

Agression and sharp awareness seem rather close.

Staying with the breath.

Breath & Air

Working a bit with the air element.

Breath as the conduit, air as merged with space, delicate, sustaining energy.

Breathing through, as part of the system (like water to a river), but not the system itself. The karmic residues are there in a more subtle form.

Not the ending of time, just yet, still movement, a space for the arisings. Healing container, alive, connected to the specific, and universal.

The air inside the cup and the air outside the cup, not so different. Breathing in, breathing out.

Threads

Considering continuity and threads, distraction is what? Moving into the object of awareness? Non-distraction is what? Staying with the awareness itself? Non-duality is what? Realizing the non-division between subject and object?Staying with is what? Staying with contemplations closer to reflecting awareness?

The late Zen master Suzuki Roshi, author of, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind wrote: “Nothing exists but momentarily in its present form and color. One thing flows into another and cannot be grasped. Before the rain stops we hear a bird. Even under the heavy snow we see snowdrops and some new growth.” All things are in constant flux. As the tulips wither, the irises emerge.

Returning

Re-turning,
remembering,
that ground,
that place of,
letting go and releasing back,
into,
the gravity,
coupled with awareness,
that re-arises,
always once,
again.

Tracing

Gravity waits

Competition, fixation, inertia, dropping down, right there,
pre-existent, earth, weight, right there,
right there, breath, timing, resistance, pressing, feeling,
riding, walking living gravity,
feeling, defining, edges of contact, nearing
absorbing,
careful how you play
against that force
always present
often un-noticed
field
of
energy

Walk

To icy to ride this week, freezing temperatures, some snow and rain. Walked into town to work. The deep blue skies are so piercing and rich.

Worked a bit with the earth element. Feeling shoes and feet hit the ground, the vibration moving up the legs and into the knees. The cold moving into the bones, the body fluids getting stiff and brittle just like the water outside.

Building up momentum, building up heat, gaining rhythm; then a blister on the 2nd toe starts to form, elemental pain, think I'll catch a bus.

Push

Morning ride round the University loop. Engaged, running lights, flowing through the streets. Morning high...addictions and flow. Entering into the space of movement, that's all.

Coming alive

Late afternoon ride, no particular focus. Now an awareness of all the elements, kind of merging into energy, like all the colors of light becoming white. Deeper breath coming still, a place to drop into, thoughts freeing, less strong, energy begins to override.

The energy itself can become a thought, a refuge, a gaining, seeing that as well, more of a clear light, incorporating the energy vibration.

breath comes, poised,
on its own, waiting,
on its own, alerting,
on its own, sensitizing,
On its own, coloring,
on its own, releasing,
on its own.

Quick ride

Worked a little this morning and took a quicker ride this afternoon. Windy as hell today, sometimes the bike would rock back and forth like a boat.

Hit a few balls right after the ride. Staying with smoothness and minimal effort. It's amazingly difficult to not try to get somewhere. The minute the ball is hit a little cleaner, some small being (in my head) wants to remark about it. More and more these things seem mechanical, just a little machine running that was started eons ago.

Air is begining to permeate the system a bit more, it comes a bit easier and soaks in a bit further. Sometimes it all seems just what one "drops into" by habit. Free fall.

Just riding

Late morning ride, no particular focus, just riding. Nicely windy, a few sprinkles, warmish weather, a few other riders and more walkers. The trail handles a lot of different rhythms, each one coming together for a moment as people intersect. Bikers slowing down, walkers moving to one side, conversations changing. Really a beautiful morning.

Walk

Did some riding the last few days, hit a few. Moving slowly back into awareness of the elemental world. Walked today, with walking the earth feels closer. Winter day, leaveless trees, a little chilled. Many folks on their way to work, ghosts in the landscape.

Hitting later today, I'll add to this post. Asking the question, "what is relaxation made of?"

from Siddhartha

And time after time, his smile became more similar to the ferryman's, became almost just as bright, almost just as throughly glowing with bliss, just as shining out of thousand small wrinkles, just as alike to a child's, just as alike to an old man's. Many travellers, seeing the two ferrymen, thought they were brothers. Often, they sat in the evening together by the bank on the log, said nothing and both listened to the water, which was no water to them, but the voice of life, the voice of what exists, of what is eternally taking shape. And it happened from time to time that both, when listening to the river, thought of the same things, of a conversation from the day before yesterday, of one of their travellers, the face and fate of whom had occupied their thoughts, of death, of their childhood, and that they both in the same moment, when the river had been saying something good to them, looked at each other, both thinking precisely the same thing, both delighted about the same answer to the same question.

Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse

Earth

Sluggish after all the parties, staying with the earth. Heavy, moving slowly. Carried by the firmness of the ground, slowed by the grade of the hills. Re-entering in, the effort predominates. Re-connecting, re-membering, re-earthing.

Posts

With my son out of school and being slammed at work, the posts will be intermittent for the next couple of weeks.

Someone shouts at Nasrudin sitting on a river bank, "How do I get across?" "You are across." he replies.

Just do it

Saturday morning, late night, a little bit flat. Moving through the routine, riding the loop.

Movement

Staying with the water element, moving with the feeling of fluidity. Endurance and gravity come into view.Letting instinct to burst out subside, staying with the rhythm and flow.

Water moving uphill, water entering the stream of energy, easing mind, calming thoughts.

Later in the bathtub, feeling more of the subtleways that water moves. Whirling patterns, soft flows, holding heat for a long time, all embracing.

Wind

Very windy the last couple of days. Rode a little bit with Susan, maybe we will ride together a bit more. She had a near collision doing a u-turn on the trail.

Took the short route this morning, chased by the storm. Right on the edge of the weather all the way home. Jubilant ride as the storm comes near. Made it in, but the storm still hasn't hit yet.

Reading some Krishnamurti this morning:

Renee Weber: But you have said that if one really were serious and wanted to do it, it would happen.

K: Of course.

RW You see, it sounds so simple and people have heard you say that and they have tried and it doesn't happen!

K: You can't try it. You don't try not to put your hand in the fire! You know fire burns and you don't go into it.

(from Questioning Krishnamurti, p. 226)

Air: Breathing the world

Returning again to air, lightness, fullness. Expanding out from the body, into the road, the rain and the passing riders. Suddenly, opens the world, air so tangible, open, giving. Permeating the space, providing moment to moment, molecule to molecule sustanance.

Nearly pure energy, perhaps not as subtle as light, but nearer to the physical, embracing the world.

Air (con't)

Little focus, riding on auto pilot. Chaos, ride, chaos, ride.

Breath, still cleaning it out.

Air (con't)

Staying with the air yesterday, breath deeper, smoother, more expanding. The body filling like a vase, air pouring into the channels of core, the limbs. At a fast enough aerobic rate,the thoughts are almost self cut.

Air (con't)

Rode to a gig today. Easy ride, staying with the breath, letting thoughts come and go. Feeling the components of smoothness, breath, strength, timing, long rhythms, a way back count.

Air (con't)

Walk yesterday with a heavy backpack, gravity was to the fore.

Good ride today, blustery weather, relatively warm. Into the chaos of air, the swirling, gathering, inconsistent qualities. Stabilizing for a few moments then off again into the whirl.

White like clear light, like lightness, like flashing, sometimes just a drop of awareness goes a long way, like dye in water.

Time lag

It snowed this last week in Seattle, not a rare event, but still unusual. No biking most of the weeek, though I took a short ride on Friday.

Funny how fragmented awareness can be, how the loss of an external flame generator (breath, gravity and force) can stop the awareness.

Dropping down into awareness (resting) rising up into awareness (lifting), letting go, opening up.

Heading out for a ride or walk later today, back to air.

Walks and courts

It's been cold and icy the last couple of days, so spent some time walking and playing indoor tennis. The presence of others is a kind of a distaction, very little focus on the elements. Another reminder how quickly the thread can be lost.

Air (con't)

3 out-breaths, 2 in-breaths or 2 out-breaths, 1 in-breath, an odd number alternates the pedal press down. The cold makes my nose run, harder to maintain a rhythm between sniffs. Air, fueling the fire, lungs like bellows.

The wind sometimes like gravity, need to go lower, but the body won't flex. Wind permeating the muscles, merging with energy combining the elements. Air, mixing it up. Mixing it up.

Pressing down, pulling up, thoughts create uneven breath, always returning.

Air

Qualities of lightness, flow, capacity, on-going, rhythm, heat, metabolic rate...Staying with the air this week. Merging more of the athletic awareness into daily life with the elements as the bridge.

Breath is often used as an object of meditation, here it becomes a bit wider and more integrated, le